Thirtieth Sunday in Ordinary Time A
Laurie
had been a good kid,
but
things changed when she grew into a teenager—
becoming
uncooperative, argumentative, even aggressive—
and
things were only getting worse.
All
her mother’s lectures and threats
weren’t
making any difference whatsoever,
and
she didn’t know what else to do.
“Life
is hard enough,” this single mom thought,
“holding
down two jobs so I can give her whatever she needs
and
even a few of the things she wants,
while
trying to manage the housework besides.
But
she won’t listen to me!
Doesn’t
she see how much I love her?
Doesn’t
she care at all?”
One
day, Laurie’s mother just gave up.
The
teen had disobeyed her again,
and
was leaving the house to visit friends
without
finishing her homework or chores.
Since
she didn’t have the strength to scream anymore,
the
tired mother simply asked sadly, “Why, Laurie? Why?”
And
in a calm voice, Laurie responded,
“Do
you really want to know?”
Her
mother nodded.
And
Laurie told her, “Because you never listen to me.
You’re
too busy with work all the time.
And
when you’re home, you’re always telling me what to do.
Whenever
I start to tell you my thoughts or my feelings,
you
interrupt me with more orders or take off for work again.”
And
that’s when the mother realized
that
she hadn’t been listening to her daughter.
She’d
been so busy trying to provide the best for her
that
she failed to give Laurie the things she needed most:
her
time and her attention. (adapted from a true story
told by D. Carnegie)
Most
of us have a pretty good sense
that
love—true love—is much more than just a feeling.
It’s
never enough for us to make loving promises;
we
must follow them up with loving deeds.
And
yet stories like those of Laurie and her mom
make
it crystal clear:
neither
does love consist solely in doing things—
even
extraordinarily generous things—for another person;
love,
rather, means being there for them.
Love
is often more a matter of our attention
than
it is of our actions.
Beyond gift-giving, love calls us to self-giving.
Beyond gift-giving, love calls us to self-giving.
We
21st century Americans are very busy people.
We’re
in constant motion,
running
from one project or event to the next.
Our
whole society is hyperactive!
A
parishioner—a retiree, mind you—
recently
said to me with a sigh,
“I
don’t have a life; I have a schedule!”
Even
in our spare time, we act like we do on the job—
as
if our worth is measured by our ability to do and produce.
Your
spouse and your kids, your
parents and friends—
are
they only interested in the things
you
can do for them or give to them?
Or
would they rather have some of your time and attention,
to
have you fully present and really listening?
The
finest compliment I’ve ever heard paid
by
one friend to another is,
“When
I’m with him/When I’m with her,
it’s
as if I’m the only other person in the entire world!”
(That experience is increasingly rare
(That experience is increasingly rare
with
folks forever glancing at the latest text on their cell phones…)
If
such genuine availability is prized among our dear ones,
might
it not also be appreciated
by
our coworkers or classmates or the clerk in the store,
by our
fellow parishioners or even a stranger?
You shall love your neighbor
as yourself.
You’ll
notice that Jesus commands us
to
love our “neighbor,” not “humanity”—
to
love real, live people, those with whom we cross paths,
and
not some nameless, faceless crowd
held
off at a safe distance.
It’s
one thing to anonymously give money to a soup kitchen;
it’s
quite another to sit at table
with
someone who’s down on their luck.
The
first gets stomachs fed—
don’t
get me wrong, a rather important thing to do;
but
the second keeps hearts alive—
That second commandment of Christ
is
based upon one which is both first and greater:
You shall love the Lord,
your God,
with all your heart, with
all your soul, and with all your mind.
Love
of God involves giving our full attention, too, does it not?
Sr.
Marie of the Trinity was a Carmelite novice
under
the care of St. Thérèse, the “little flower.”
When
God was calling her deeper into prayer,
she
heard him say, “It’s easier to find laborers to work
than
children to play.”
With
God as with our neighbor,
we
need to spend quality time—to “waste” some time—freely,
purely
for the joy of being together.
We
are called not only to be the Lord’s servants, but his friends:
to
share his life, to be close to him,
over
and above any way we might be useful to his purpose.
God
doesn’t need us to get busy
as
much as he longs for us just to be with him.
Simple
and straightforward,
Jesus
has spelled out his two great commandments of love.
Let
us fulfill these greatest of the Lord’s commands
by
giving God and neighbor our very best:
our
precious time, our undivided attention, our very selves.
relying
heavily on a meditation by Fr. J. Philippe
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