Sixteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time A
As
I was struggling into the night on this homily—
not
so much on what I wanted to say,
but
on how I ought to say it—
…and
from which I’m going to borrow heavily.
It
was entitled,
(That’s
certainly a name which gets your attention!)
It
was written by Daniel Bearman—
a
heavily bearded, seriously tattooed guy from the deep south
who
married his high school sweetheart,
with
her converted to Catholicism,
and
is now the proud father of three very young children.
(That’s
not your typical profile, either!)
He
starts with the tomatoes.
I can no
longer eat that little tomato wedge
You know, the
little half moon
that sits to
the right of the iceberg mix
with the
texture of styrofoam
and a taste
vaguely reminiscent of watery ketchup.
I used to be
able to eat them
but then I had
a real, fresh tomato
with soft,
meaty flesh and vibrant tomato flavor.
Now, I could
never go back to the stale and bland tomatoes
shipped across
the country in midwinter.
Daniel
goes on to say this is a hard thing to explain
in
American’s current food culture.
Sure,
most folks prefer better tasting food,
getting
it now, and getting it cheap.
The
thought of waiting or paying more is simply absurd.
He calls this our “high fructose corn syrup culture.”
He calls this our “high fructose corn syrup culture.”
We
plant millions of acres of corn every year in this countryin
order to produce a sweetener that’s basically tasteless but cheap—
making
it perfect to dump into just about everything.
The
sad paradox is that,
despite
a nearly infinite variety of food-like products
and
so much land devoted to agriculture,
many
American are obese, but not getting the nutrients they need;
they’re
dying of heart disease and suffering from diabetes;
such
abundance, and yet our children are malnourished.
Sadly, Daniel continues, this paradox of empty excess
is not unique to our eating
habits.
Our culture is also sick
because we think of sex in the same way.…
Because we’ve started
treating sex the same way
we treat high fructose corn
syrup.
The
“sexual revolution” made us empty promises:
“Everybody
can have sex whenever they want it,
with
whomever they want it!
Sex
is easy! Sex is cheap! Sex is good for you!”
In
the process, sex was reduced to its physical thrill—
as
if pleasure were its only real purpose.
But
such pleasure is fleeting.
So
the solution must be to have sex more often.
Or
to keep changing things up.
That’s
why pornography
has
gotten increasingly common and depraved,
why
the supermarket checkout line
advertizes
so many hot tips for the bedroom.
A
constant diet of sex,
and
yet we’re still malnourished, still unsatisfied.
How? Why?
Because there’s supposed to
be more!
Sex isn’t just about sexual
gratification.
And
where did Daniel and his wife learn this?
From—of
all sources—the Catholic Church.
They
learned it through Natural Family Planning.
First,
the Church taught them that sex unites.
[O]ur “sex life”—Daniel writes—
isn’t just
some detachable part of our life
like a career
or exercise routine.
Sex is an
integrated part of our life connected to our marriage
and continuing
commitment to each other.
When my wife
and I make love
(a wonderful
expression which hardly describes
our culture’s
approach to sex),
I’m not just
trying to satisfy my own sexual desires
and I’m not
even trying JUST to satisfy hers.
I’m uniting
with her physically
as I’ve
already united with her
emotionally,
mentally, and spiritually.
Sex is not an
isolated act but, in a way,
an extension
of the thousands of hours
we’ve spent
talking and laughing together;
trying to take
care of each other;
and sharing
everything from meals to joys and fears.
Sex is one of
the many ways in which we become “one flesh”
and our
enjoyment is exponentially greater as a result.
And
second, the Church taught them that sex creates.
[W]e aren’t
actively trying to get pregnant every time, of course.
But we’re open
to the possibility.
And part of
the richness of that openness is present
right in the
next room where our children are sleeping.
And another
part exists in our hearts
where we keep
our desire to have, God willing,
more wonderful
children.…
The pleasure
is compounded because,
I am not just
making love to a beautiful woman;
my beautiful
lover is also my selfless wife
and the
wonderful mother to my children.
This is also
why our satisfaction is longer lasting.
Because we
don’t just take pleasure from each other and pull apart.
We give
ourselves to each other in a way that lasts…
Daniel
concludes:
All of this is
difficult to explain
to a high
fructose corn syrup culture.
“You mean you
have to WAIT sometimes?
You can’t just
have [sex] whenever?”
Well, yes, we
do have to wait sometimes.…
When I have to
wait I begin to crave,
not just
sexual release but, intimacy with my wife.
This doesn’t
push us away from each other;
it draws us
closer.
Waiting, if we
let it, can strengthen our marriage.
Our culture
gives us corn syrup;
sex that is
easy and cheap,
that you can
have whenever you want
but will
ultimately leave you unsatisfied and sick.
Soon this sex
is like a January tomato, tasteless and stale.
The teachings
of the Church on sex, by contrast,
are meant to
give us nourishment and vibrancy,
a fuller
picture of this beautiful gift from God
that will
satisfy not only our sexual desires
but many of
our deeper desires as well.
I’ve
let Daniel Bearman say all this
because
I couldn’t have said it any better myself—
and
it so desperately needs to be said.
It’s
always timed to coincide with the anniversary
of
Pope Paul VI’s encyclical
Humane Vitae, on
the regulation of birth,
issued
July 25, 1968.
For
more than 40 years, the Pope’s words
on
why sex, marriage, and procreation always belong together
have
been widely mocked
and
largely ignored by Catholics as “out of touch.”
In that
letter, the Pope warned
that
if the widespread use of contraceptives was accepted,
there
would be:
(1)
a rise in infidelity and general lowering of moral standards;
(2)
a reduction of women to objects for men’s sexual satisfaction;
and
(3)
government coercion in reproductive matters.
Sadly,
that should all sound familiar enough
that
I don’t need to cite the supporting statistics.
Although
few want to admit it, the Pope was exactly right.
For
40 years, in the field of human sexuality,
we've seen the weeds gradually choking out the wheat:
we've seen the enemy's work growing;
we've seen the enemy's work growing;
we
have watched God’s plan slowly subverted.
Are
we satisfied eating these hothouse tomatoes?
Haven’t
we suffered enough
from
a diet of corn syrup?
Many
Catholics have hastily rejected the Church’s teachings on sex
based
on someone else’s opinion,
but
without ever seriously looking into them for themselves.
Given
the track record I’ve just cited,
don’t
you think they at least deserve an honest look?
Read
Bishop LaValley’s letter in this Sunday’s bulletin.
Help
yourself to some of the NFP materials
available
in church this morning.
Look
into resources online—
they’ve
never been more easily accessible.
Above
all, keep God in this conversation.
God
knows a thing or two about it.
The
Lord is tremendously patient
in waiting on our repentance,
in waiting on our repentance,
but
we must not presume on his mercy.
After
all, the time for harvest—
the Day of Judgment—must come.
the Day of Judgment—must come.
No aspect
of our human lives is beyond the reach
of
the good seed of the Kingdom of Heaven.
So let's plant less corn and grow more wheat!
2 comments:
What a powerful homily, and one that is so needed in our Church. Even better is when couples begin to realize how much better God's plans are for us than our own. I've found that many who start out using NFP are able to take that leap. I've found that God has given us absolutely no more than we can handle. It is also a huge blessing to those couples who have had trouble having children.
Very beautifully done Father. It wasn't so much about sex to me as the corn syrup of superficiality that so many Catholic settle for. The little apple wedge of sin that puts feeling friendly way above speaking words of truth. People wanting to be liked won't take a worthy risk and call people on being phony. The average Catholic believes they are saved because they go to church and take Communion. But that's more a Protestant thing, believing they are saved by merely saying they believe. All humans have the Holy Spirit guiding them whether they want it or not. Life is about a choice. A choice to accept that guidance or walk away into the dark.
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