It’s great having a newly ordained priest around, isn’t it?
Not only am I impressed and inspired
by Fr. Tom’s great eagerness and energy,
but I keep learning new things from him.
In fact, Fr. Tom just shared with me that this Sunday
has been given a new name of which I had previously not been aware:
“Bruised Rib Sunday.”
It arises from today’s second reading…
…and all the elbow jabs that start flying
between husbands and wives in their pews!
Not only am I impressed and inspired
by Fr. Tom’s great eagerness and energy,
but I keep learning new things from him.
In fact, Fr. Tom just shared with me that this Sunday
has been given a new name of which I had previously not been aware:
“Bruised Rib Sunday.”
It arises from today’s second reading…
…and all the elbow jabs that start flying
between husbands and wives in their pews!
Such
a strong reaction to a difficult teaching is nothing new.
Just
look at the gospel.
After
Jesus’ declared that his flesh is true food
and
his blood true drink,
some
of his disciples—
not
newcomers or casual listeners,
but
those who’d followed him for some time—
are
heard to ask, This saying is hard; who
can accept it?
And
as a result, many no longer walked with him.
In
general, when you’re wrestling with a difficult question,
it’s
best to consult with the experts,
and
so I have two experts for our consideration this Sunday.
The
first has been around a little while:
Saint
Thomas Aquinas,
who
was a professor of theology at the University of Paris
all
the way back in the thirteenth century.
Commenting
on this Sunday’s gospel passage,
he
once lectured to his students:
A saying is hard either because
it resists the intellect
or because it resists the
will,
that is, when we cannot
understand it with our mind,
or when it does not please
our will.
To
put it another way:
If
a teaching doesn’t sit right in your gut,
the
real problem isn’t in your stomach:
either
it’s in your head because it disagrees
with what you know,
or it’s
in your heart because it disagrees
with what you want.
The
Church has a long list of doctrines and disciplines
which
people find controversial.
I
find that most of people’s strong, negative reactions to them
are
based on two things: misinformation and raw emotion.
We
wouldn’t want anyone to make an important decision
based
on either of these in other circumstances,
so
why should we in matters of faith?
If
you’re struggling with a teaching of the Church,
the
first thing to do is get your head
around it.
from
news briefs on TV, in the newspaper, or on the Internet,
then
that just might be the root of your problem!
Controversy
is (literally!) their business,
and
they have a vested interest in stirring the pot.
Don’t
settle for sound bites or someone else’s take on things.
Educate
yourself. Go to the source.
(For
that, I highly suggest the Catechism of the Catholic Church.)
is
oftentimes enough to clear things up.
The
teachings of the Church
haven’t developed rashly or haphazardly,
but
are the result of centuries of thought and prayer.
They’re
not rooted in human opinion, but in divine revelation.
We
shouldn’t jump to quick conclusions
that
they’re wrong and we know better.
We
should take some time to make sure that we really
understand.
This
calls for soul searching and honesty.
I
know for myself
that when there’s something which I find challenging,
it’s
usually because it touches a part of my life
where
I actually need to be challenged.
Do
I find a teaching hard
because
it gets in the way of other things I want
or
tests my cherished assumptions?
What
are the true priorities and principles
around which I've ordered my life?
When
calling for the Church to change,
is
it simply because I am unwilling to
change?
If
we dare to pray that the Father’s will be done,
then
we must allow God—when necessary—
to
bend and shape our own.
Let’s
apply this lesson from Aquinas to the second reading.
What’s
the only line anybody ever remembers?
Wives should be subordinate
to their husbands.
There
go those bruised ribs again!
Which
makes it pretty clear
that
this is a kneejerk (elbowjerk?)
reaction, an emotional response.
If
we want to bring our hearts—our wills—along,
then
let’s get our heads—our minds—around it.
That
one line—Wives should be subordinate to
their husbands—
would
have been the least controversial of all in Saint Paul’s day.
Why? Because that’s
just what everybody expected him to say…
...and expected him to stop right there.
You
know what line would have caught their attention—
and
which snuck right by us?
Be subordinate to one
another out of reverence for Christ.
That
was a radical—I’d even say, subversive—idea!
In
a society based on inequality between men and women,
adults
and children, citizens and foreigners, masters and slaves,
such
mutual deference was completely unheard of…
…but
it is at the very heart of the Christian life.
Paul
doesn’t linger on what’s expected of a wife.
But
he goes all out on what’s expected of a husband,
who’s
called to much more than subordination:
a
husband is called to total self-sacrifice—
like
Christ, he must be willing to give up his very life,
loving
and caring for his wife as if she were his own body.
If
we know full well that somebody’s willing
to
do or give up absolutely anything and everything for our benefit,
then
it’s a joy—not a drawback—to surrender ourselves.
That’s
precisely what the Church must do as the bride of Christ;
this
great and awesome mystery
is also precisely what ought to distinguish Christian marriage.
Hopefully
even that brief study of this text and its background
helps
you think and feel a bit differently…
…or
at least put those elbows down.
So
much for the insights of our first expert.
Our
second is more contemporary.
Dan
Gilbert is a professor of psychology
at Harvard University
and
is widely known for his studies of human happiness.
Using
his own students as guinea pigs,
Gilbert
has organized experiments
which
reach striking conclusions
about what makes us happiest.
It
seems that people are happier
when
they make a decision that can’t be changed,
rather than
when they make one which they can later reverse.
When
people have the opportunity to change their minds,
they
spend a lot of time worrying if they made the right choice
or if
they should go back and decide again differently.
Our
culture tells us that we should keep our options open,
that
we shouldn’t limit our choices or restrict our freedom…
…but
science seems to indicate that commitment
is
a surer recipe for happiness.
That’s
certainly the case when it comes to faith.
Joshua
lays it out before all of Israel.
They
must make a choice and stick with it.
They
can’t go on proudly saying they’re the Lord’s chosen people…
…yet
still clinging to their former ways
and
still serving the false gods of their neighbors.
Which
will it be?
They
can’t have it both ways.
And
Jesus does much the same for his apostles.
Watching
many disciples turn away, he asks that haunting question,
Do you also want to leave?
Simon
Peter sees where true happiness lies.
Where else would we go?
We have come to believe
that you are so much more
than a mighty prophet.
You are the Holy One—God
himself!
Yes, your words may be hard…
…but through them you alone have
the power to give us life.
So
when a teaching of the Church, whatever it might be,
just
sticks in your craw—or even causes minor bruising—
remember
to take some time to consult the experts.
Don’t
settle for easy or hasty conclusions,
but
make full use of your mind and your heart.
And
above all, be sure to see things in the light
of
your committed decision to follow Christ.
Subordinate
yourself in reverence to him
who
is head of the Church—his bride and his body.
It’s
the only sure way to taste and see the Lord’s goodness—
to
find real happiness in his company,
both
now and forever.
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